Steamed Up
by tamer.of.the.wild.things.13
Summary: CRACKFIC, drabble. Someone gets bored on an easy mission and writes this. Then accidentally hand it in. Iruka-sensei is going to be pissed! Two-shot. Rating T for suggestive themes and mild language. Yaoi-ish pairing.
1. Steamed Up

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto characters. I just love them.

...0...0...0...

Iruka's like a teapot

Short and hot

He'll fly off his handle

And chew you out

When he gets all steamed up

Hear him shout

Run away and watch out!


	2. Cooled Off

Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto. Making no money on fanfiction.

...0...0...0...

Iruka stared. And stared. And stared. And—

"What the hell is this?!"

"I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei, I'm sorry, I—" The shinobi apologizing waved his hands in front of himself as if that would somehow protect him.

Iruka's voice dropped to a normal volume, as he smiled pleasantly, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

"No, no, no, no, I—" the shinobi backed up a few paces. "I'm sorry, really, I'm—"

"Do you really think that you can talk your way out of this?"

"Um, no, Iruka-sensei. I didn't think, I mean . . .. I didn't mean—"

Iruka smiled pleasantly again, folding his hands and lacing his fingers together. Uh-oh. The shinobi backed up further, that was Iruka's _dangerous_ face (one of them at least).

"Did you or did you not write this?"

"Uhhhh . . .. no?"

"No?" Iruka cocked his eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Yes." Iruka placed his hands on the table and leaned towards the other shinobi. "You did."

The shinobi could almost feel sweat dropping down his face. He tugged at his collar. "Is hot, umm, getting you in here?"

"Pardon?" Iruka made his way around to stand beside his desk.

"I mean, um, are you hot finding it in here?" He yanked harder at his collar, backing up further.

Iruka moved forward, seemingly innocent to any outside observer, but any shinobi worth his salt in Konoha knew that was how Iruka stalked his prey (meaning errant jounin and chuunin in the missions office). They _had_ to know; otherwise he'd _get_ them.

"Now, I'm sure you meant no harm by your little _joke_, right?"

The shinobi nodded and smiled blithely, thinking he'd just gotten off the hook. "Of course." (He would _never_ hurt Iruka. Not on _purpose._)

"You did?" Iruka paused, cocking his head to the side. (No matter how tough he is it hurts to think someone would purposefully mean him harm.)

The shinobi realised the misunderstanding right away. He shook his head vigorously, as if that would emphasize his point. "NO! Wait, just no, I didn't mean any harm. I would never—"

Iruka was suddenly right in front of him. The shinobi gulped as Iruka slowly pulled the shinobi forward, so that their faces were inches apart.

"Good. Because I would _hate_ to have to punish you; it would be _such_ a bad example for my students if they saw me, say, hanging you from a tree in the town square in your underwear, with your hair dyed pink?" He smiled, patting the bulge of the fabric he'd grabbed and smoothing it down.

"Like Sakura's pink?" The shinobi grimaced. "In my underwear?" (Inwardly, he snickered—maybe he should piss the chuunin off more often. That underwear thing sounded promising.) Outwardly, he balked and gasped in mock surprise. "Iruka-sensei, you wouldn't!"

"Oh? Wouldn't I though?" Iruka made his way back behind the desk, sighing heavily as he sat. "Where's your real mission report, then?" He held out a hand expectantly as he bent over to read from a file on the desk.

The stained and torn mission report was placed in his hand and the shinobi in question disappeared from the room at lightning speed as Iruka got a look at what _might_ have once been a decent report and bellowed, "KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

Kakashi snickered and got comfortable in a tree just outside one of the mission room windows. Time for his favourite pass-time: Iruka-sensei watching. It really was an underrated hobby, he decided. After all, he could watch the man explode at other people (it really was funny when it wasn't him) and if he sent out just enough chakra, he could disrupt the papers on the desks, making Iruka bend down and pick them up. When he did that, Kakashi got a good look at his round, tight, toned ass—On second thought, he was glad that no one else knew about his hobby . . .. And if they _did_, well, they had just better _not_ get any ideas.

Kakashi spent all afternoon in the tree, thinking he'd never get caught (after all, Iruka-sensei never noticed _him_, except to yell at him for mission reports, which really weren't _that_ bad, if he said so himself). Just as soon as he'd decided he really should go, since Iruka-sensei was off in a little while anyways (no, he was not obsessing—it is perfectly normal to know the work habits of your fellow shinobi), he was startled out of his thoughts by a throat clearing at the bottom of his tree. Looking down, he was surprised to find Iruka himself standing there.

"Wha—" I_ thought he didn't get off for another half hour?!_

"So." Iruka rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, hands in his pockets.

"So . . .." Kakashi glanced around nervously, _Is he still mad about the mission report?_

"I'm off early because I didn't take my break," Iruka began conversationally, as he kept looking up at Kakashi, "Actually, could you come down? It's difficult to speak to you up there and I'm tired, so tree walking doesn't sound great right now."

Kakashi glanced around again. _Was this a trap?_

Iruka chuckled. "Worried I'll dye your hair pink if you get anywhere near me?" he teased.

Kakashi nodded.

"Don't worry, I don't think pink is really your colour . . .. It might suit your student, but . . .. I was only kidding before."

Kakashi slid down to a lower branch, straddling it and leaning forward to be level with the chuunin.

"It's okay, Kakashi-san, I'm not going to do anything to you, I promise." Iruka smiled disarmingly, opening his arms in a peaceful gesture.

Kakashi scampered the rest of the way down as gracefully as possible. He landed in front of Iruka and scratched the back of his head self-consciously. "Ummmm . . .."

Iruka took a few steps forward, leaning into Kakashi's space. "Uh, Iruka-sensei?"

"So you think I'm hot?" Iruka grinned widely when he noticed Kakashi's light blush above his mask. He leaned in closer, inspecting the pale skin above the navy fabric. "Hmmm, maybe pink does suit you after all . . .."

Kakashi chuckled nervously.

"Do you want to do something about it?"

"Do something like what? About pink hair?" Kakashi frowned slightly.

Iruka cocked an eyebrow. "No. . . . to the hair. Yes to _doing_ something about _it_, Kakashi-san. Like joining me for dinner, perhaps?"

Kakashi smiled. "Oh. About that. Yes. Yes, I think I would like that, Iruka."

Kakashi followed behind Iruka as he walked off towards the village centre. "Oh, and Kakashi?"

"Yes?" Now that he had a date (and no more worries about pink hair) Kakashi had a bounce in his step.

"I'll make sure you get home at a decent hour tonight. After all, I expect that mission report to be properly re-done and on my desk tomorrow."

Kakashi laughed. "Of course, sensei." Then he smiled as he hurried to catch up to Iruka, adding, "But they're really not that bad, are they?"

Iruka stopped dead and stared at him. "Seriously?" He shoved Kakashi lightly.

Kakashi shrugged and they set off again, shoulders brushing with every step. Kakashi was content. Who knew one little poem could make his day?


End file.
